Julia’s Musings

At the Grace Hopper Celebration, there are at least a few panels that discuss bringing people into computer science at a young age. Typically, these panels theorize and brainstorm about why young students are not very interested in computer science, especially why young women are turned off by the time they reach high school. This year, two groups of students were a part of a panel that reported results of programs designed to explore and rectify this problem.

The first group of women were undergraduates at Brown University who conducted this summer’s Artemis Project. The Artemis Project is a five-week summer camp for young girls that teaches computer science and computing. They touch on various topics such as basic computer literacy, web development and programming. Throughout the course, they also invited speakers from the university to come give an overview of the research that each conducts. These speakers introduced the girls to sorting algorithms, computer vision, and more. The program is free, and the girls gain a set of skills useful no matter what they end up doing in life.

Brown Team

Surveys were conducted midway through the course and at the end, to see how the kids liked the program, and how it could be improved in the future. The results were quite favorable, and most girls reported a change in what they thought that an appropriate career for a girl would be. Namely, they now didn’t think that a career in technology would be impossible for themselves. It was quite interesting to hear about, and I’m eager to hear about what these girls do after they finish high school/college.

The next group were three women from Bryn Mawr College, who used a CREU grant to teach middle school students how to program using robots. Originally, they planned on going to public schools to do this, but ultimately there wasn’t enough time or funding to make this feasible. They instead taught home school students - 12 boys and 1 girl. The middle school students used a scribbler robot, equipped with light sensors, IR sensors, three wheels, bluetooth and a camera. Using MyRo, a Python-based platform for programming robots (among other things), they would then program the robot to do various tasks, such as draw polygons, navigate a maze and mount explorations.

Mansi, Shikha and Marwa

While the sample size was small, they learned quickly and well. They also decided that girls could do computer science as well, after seeing the lone girl succeed and having three women as teachers! You can read about Robots Byte, the project, at the IPRE Wiki. This panel gave away a scribbler to a lucky professor at NYU. I hope that the project is continued and expanded! I think that it’s fascinating to explore how kids learn and what draws them into computer science. Clearly, I wasn’t the only one who thought so, as the panelists presented to a full house - standing room only.

That’s right. I’m kicking it old school today.

Thursday’s sessions were awesome. I got to hear Fran Allen, the first woman winner of the Turing Award, speak at her keynote. It’s quite inspirational to hear how she started out in mathematics and became a computer scientist before there was even such a thing as “computer science!” She theorizes that the glass ceiling came into effect when computer science was actually recognized as a field — and therefore became a “good ol’ boys” club. She must really be disappointed in how great of a role that gender plays in computer science these days, especially seeing as how she experienced being a female computer scientist before the bias was introduced.

Fran Allen

Fran Allen's Slide on Winning the Turing Award

I went to the panel which talked about managing your career when “life gets in the way” which I felt was a much neglected topic of discussion. Four panelists from various companies talked about their stories, which included taking care of parents, managing menopause, dealing with cancer and being a parent. One of the panelists was a male manager, which I thought was a good inclusion. However, any manager that consents to being a part of this type of panel isn’t going to be the type of manager that is difficult to deal with “when life gets in the way” because they are clearly already aware of the type of issues you can run into in life. Still, it was good to get the discussion going.

One woman got up to the microphone and told an incredibly harrowing story about her family, dealing with her children’s illnesses and accidents. She literally had people crying in their seats. It was so incredible, especially as she put it in context of earning her second PhD! I was fortunate enough to catch her later that day, and was able to thank her for sharing her story. Although clearly it was difficult to tell others about it, it is good for people to recognize that life is far from perfect for most people. To pretend otherwise is just unwise and insulting.

I was about to go grab lunch when I passed a girl who had on a name tag with words that caught my eye: “Bryn Mawr College!” I pulled her aside and introduced myself as a Bryn Mawr alumna. We grabbed lunch with a Haverford College student and another college student that was eating alone. It was good to hear about what was going on at the mothership from someone who had started after I graduated! We talked for a while about what they were doing at school and what they planned on doing this summer. I gave my pep talk about people at Bryn Mawr/Haveford College and their confidence levels. When you are prevented from talking about grades because of the Honor Code, it tends to have a bit of an unpleasant effect on students’ self esteem. Because you don’t know how you’re doing, you think that clearly, you’re doing the worst in the whole class. That is rarely the case, and I try to make people aware of it.

CS Students @ GHC

Anyway, that was the beginning of the day on Thursday! Stay tuned for what happened the rest of the day!

That is why this panel exists. Do we really not know anything? Of course not. We are all intelligent women in a veritable sea of men. We have Kori Inkpen, Tessa Lau, Tiffani Williams, Mary Czerwinski and Maria Klawe to address this important issue. Represented by these women are Microsoft Research (twice), IBM Almaden Research Center, Texas A&M and Harvey Mudd College. They are all recognized as extraordinary technical leaders and great role models.

So, not wanting to split my focus, after writing the above paragraph, I closed my laptop. This was a time to pay attention and really hear what these women were saying. Each of them got up to the microphone and went through a series of very similar slides. They started with a brief list of their accomplishments. These generally included employment history, educational history and participation in the technical community (papers, conferences, committees, etc…). The next slide talked about in what situations did they feel like imposters.

These situations included, but were not limited to: being in situations in which they felt unqualified, asked to take on new responsibilities, being in a new job, being in the presence of senior members of the technical community and being asked to do something that was rare for a woman to do. I think that we can all relate to these to some extent. I’m not entirely certain that it’s not a normal reaction. But it definitely is a problem, because the effects of the “imposter syndrome” can be absolutely paralyzing.

The panel was packed, and everyone wanted to get up and tell a story or ask a question. I heard some fantastic stories from women that I would consider successes, and yet they still feel unqualified for whatever they are asked to do. I had read this before, and someone brought it up again: most women will not state things with confidence unless they are close to 100% sure of their knowledge in the topic, compared to men, who seem to have no qualms with acting with authority without the grounds to do so. This makes women look timid, weak and unsure, despite working from the same exact skill set as their male counterparts. Unfortunately, this is one of the reasons that women don’t get hired or promoted nearly as often in technical positions as men do.

Personally, I prefer to know that the person with whom I am speaking is not just blowing smoke. Perhaps this means I will always take what people say with a grain of salt until I can independently verify the veracity of their statements. <sigh>

I was able to raise a question. My question was: “Regardless of whether you believe that this imposter syndrome crosses gender lines, do you think that more transparency about it would be beneficial to the technical community as a whole?” The answer was a resounding “Yes!” If there had been more time, I would have tacked on the query of how we, as technical women, can go about bringing that to pass. As it was, we were over time on the room…too bad. I feel like it’s one thing to have a panel about it, recognizing it as a problem, and yet another to have a dialogue about how we can ameliorate it.

I’m incredibly glad that I was able to attend this panel; it may have been the driving force in my coming to the Grace Hopper Celebration. I’m posting this out of order, because my other GHC posts are still in draft form and internet was sketchy (1500 women trying to connect to the same wireless network is difficult).

Most of the "Imposter Panel" Panelists

Despite a hellishly early pickup from the shuttle service, I am at the Keystone Conference Center, outside of Denver. It has been a beautiful sunny day, and I spent most of it passed out in the hotel room (I had less than three hours of sleep, cut me some slack!). So far, I’ve met other people from my company, people from competing companies, students, professors, and someone that I’m absolutely positive that I’ve met before but simply can’t place her. I’ve also thanked the great people from CRA-W who gave me such a spectacular summer experience, and am quite surprised that they recognized my name.

It really is fantastic, to see so many women at all stages of their careers in one place. They come from all corners of the world, descending upon Keystone with the desire to connect with others and the desire to make the world a better place. How or why is almost immaterial.

What I find most surprising is the number of men roaming the crowd! Some of them are here to recruit, because their companies simply don’t have the numbers of women to spare for recruiting. Some, however, you can tell are students! I’m torn between deciding if this means that the conference is better known, or if this means that the men are invading our turf! Isn’t this supposed to be a place where women can network without the male presence? Without the testosterone that is so characteristic of our field? Hmmm…I still can’t decide. I’ll make up my mind at the end of the conference. I suppose what will decide it for me is how much they try to dominate the sessions.

I just came out of the poster session, which is showcasing a lot of really cool research. It is interesting that the research tends to either tackle social issues or seriously hard technical problems…there’s not a whole lot of overlap between the two. I’d like to see more on developing really cool technology to take on social issues. It’s not that this research doesn’t exist, because I’ve seen it presented at other conferences; for some reason it just doesn’t have a whole lot of presence here at GHC ‘08.

I was able to track down the three Bryn Mawr students that are panelists this year. I can’t believe that it’s been so long since I saw them last! Logically, I know that they have not grown any, but for some reason, it seems like they are so much taller than they were when I left school. They’re here based on research that they did with middle school girls and using robotics to get them interested in programming. Very cool topic, in my opinion.

Also caught up to Kimberly Blessing, who now an instructor at Bryn Mawr College! Her talk, which is about web 2.0 social networks and their place in the workplace. I’m especially interested in that talk, seeing as how I’ve been hit by the consequences of that issue already. And no, details aren’t following. But, she thinks that as a hypothetical, it might be an interesting point to make about the dangers of social networks. So I’ll have to think very carefully how I want to phrase it.

Crashed sort of early with my roommate, splitting headache and all that. Apparently it’s either the fresh mountain air, or I’m going through caffeine withdrawal. Seeing as how it’s been two days since I’ve had any caffeine, I’ll go with the latter. I’m going to try and take some pictures tomorrow, so be ready!

So, what does this mean? We could pick apart this theme word by word, but what good does that really do? Let’s take a look at it in context. For starters, this is the theme of a conference where women in computing come together to discuss technology, their careers, their passions — and hopefully those three items overlap. By building a better world, do we expect these women to build a house? Probably not, at least not literally.

Why do I qualify that? Well, I could conceive a world in which women in engineering, science and technology design a house to be totally sustainable. So in a way, they could build a house, a better house. And in that way, they could build a better world.

More likely, we all believe that there are small things that we could do to improve the world. Maybe these improvements come through in the way of research, or maybe they manifest themselves in the improvements that women make to their work environment. One terrific example is mentoring. Women giving their time to be role models to young women or girls makes a huge difference in a field where there aren’t many women to guide them.

What everyone should ask themselves, whether or not you are going to the conference, whether or not you are female, is “how am I making this a better world?”

However, I cannot ask the question in such a public forum without answering it in turn. So here it goes.

I’m not sure that I am making it a better world, at least right right now. I could say that I’m taking the first step by participating in this conference, this dialogue, but that seems like the stock answer. I am taking place in the giving campaign at work, I try to raise awareness of the unique challenges that women face in technical disciplines, and as much as I can, I try to lead by example. I will admit, it is difficult to persist in something from which I do not see immediate results. But right now, I have to take it on faith that someone down the line will benefit from my efforts.

Hopefully, I’ll come out of this conference with a better idea of how to contribute, as well tools to improve my current contributions. I’ll be posting along the way!

As I usually do when I’m frustrated, I let my mind wander. I do this in hopes that it will wander on its own to something less frustrating than whatever I am currently doing. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. At any rate, this time, my mind travelled to the thing that I am anticipating the most right now:

The Grace Hopper Celebration of Women in Computing

For those of you who don’t know, Rear Admiral Grace Hopper was an extraordinary computer scientist. Born in 1906, she developed the first compiler for a programming language, pursued a graduate education when it was virtually unheard of for women, had an ACM award named after her, and rose to the rank of Commander in the Naval Reserve. Hearing her story for the first time two years ago, it sounded to me like she was the computer science Rosie the Riveter. An icon. Larger than life.

The Grace Hopper Celebration of Women in Computing was named in her honor, started in 1994, two years after Admiral Grace Hopper passed away. I won’t go into the conference’s history, as you can read about it on the site linked above. I also encourage you to look up Admiral Hopper if you would like to know more about her amazing life.

I first went to the GHC in 2006, which was the fall of my senior year of college. That year, the artwork and theme was:

Despite having nothing to present, I was encouraged to go by a Bryn Mawr College alumna, who helped me out by sharing her hotel room with me (the registration and some of the airfare was taken care of by the Undergraduate Dean’s Office). At that point, I didn’t know whether I would be joining the workforce or going to graduate school, and I figured that the conference might help me decide. Also, I was feeling very alone, as I was the only senior in the Computer Science Department that year. Meeting other undergraduates who were at the same point in their career seemed like a good idea.

I’ll admit straightaway, getting on the plane in Philadelphia was seriously scary. I was flying across the country to go to meet tons of hugely successful women in computing — and I would only know one other person there. Armed with my résumé and some business cards I had printed, I went to do battle on both the academic and corporate battlefields. Oh, and try to keep up with my computer graphics class, come up with a thesis topic, and write a web crawler at the same time. Busy? Me?

However, I managed to get to San Diego, check in at the hotel, pick up my badge at the conference and attend the talk that they give for the new attendees (which is where I first heard the incredible story about Grace Hopper). Feeling, but hopefully not looking, very awkward, I made my way around the sessions. I’m not going to give a blow-by-blow account of the conference, but I’ll point out some highlights:

• Got to know some Bryn Mawr College alumnae better, one of whom convinced me to apply for my current position (yes, I was recruited at the conference)
• Ran into my mentor from my previous summer research experience
• Heard some fantastic women speak, including Sally Ride
• Talked with some incredibly intelligent women about their research and the status of women in computer science
• Played with robots (you knew that one was going to be on here, right?)
• Had one of the most embarrassing moments in my entire life, the memory of which still makes me flush

All in a three day experience. And I cannot wait to do it all again this year. There will likely be a few entries centered around the conference, so be prepared!

Proud, geeky women, prepare to unite!

There’s a debate that’s all the rage in social circles. Does altruism exist?

Discuss.

No, really. People perform acts of kindness every day, working to make the world a better place. They help out a stranger, volunteer their time for charity or lend an ear to a friend. These are the people who try to improve our society. However, the cynic and some psychologists and biologists argue that this generosity is not in fact intended to help out society, but to help out oneself.

Think about it. What motivates us to do these things? Helping out a stranger, that’s easy. It makes us feel good for doing something nice. Volunteering or donating to charity - well, besides the tax write-off, there’s that ability to say that we accomplished something in the world. The easiest of all to explain is listening to a friend’s problems: we hope that when the time comes, they’ll return the favor. All of these motivations have something not-so-subtle in common: they are all completely selfish. And doing something selfish is, by definition, not altruistic. It’s not generous.

We are biological feedback mechanisms. Ultimately, we don’t see the point of doing something if there’s no reward for doing it! If we accept the premise that robots are ultimately an extremely primitive manifestation of intelligence, then we know that we can’t just tell my robot that it should do something because it would be great for me to get some data (if only!). So far, in artificial intelligence, there has to be some sort of feedback. And the more “reward” it gets, the quicker it learns. Why are humans any different?

Psychology is a perfect example of this. We all know that children learn behavior modification much faster if there’s positive reinforcement involved. All you get when yelling at a child is a disgruntled child with no idea what went wrong. Whereas with praise, the child knows exactly what was done right. So the next time, when the child does exhibits that behavior, do they do it because it’s the right thing to do, or because they’ll get praised for doing it?

The disgruntled and jaded amongst us claim that altruism is nonexistent. In fact, they think that claiming altruistic motives is in fact a veneer for pure selfishness. However, this is not my stance.

While I admit that ultimately, if we would like to dig that deeply into our own psyche, altruism has self-centered motives, we cannot burden those who wish to do good with claims that they really don’t. It’s a sure-fire way to get people to give up on making the world a better place. Just because I want to make the world eco-friendly for my family’s progeny does not make my actions impure. Sure, I want my family to be able to enjoy nature. But the side-effect is that everyone else gets to enjoy it too.

This is quickly degrading into a “does the end justify the means” argument, which I am not inclined to tackle at 2:30 in the morning. So I’ll conclude with this:

Don’t give up on improving the world just because people debate the existence of (true) altruism. You will probably do a lot of good before they have reached any meaningful conclusion.

We have all heard this phrase. Numerous times. We typically hear it when we’re being talked into something that we don’t want to do. Our friends cajole, plead and try to reason with a well-placed “what’s the worst that could happen?” And let’s face it. It works. Against our better judgement, we go out to the sketchy club. We do that jump on our bike. We take off on a trip without telling anyone where we’re going. Because, after all, what’s the worst that could happen?

Numerous books, studies and journals have enumerated the importance of listening to that gut instinct. That voice in the back of your head that tells you that something in the scenario is unsafe is a good friend to you. We tend to make the right decisions in a split second. As a species, if we didn’t have that instinct, we wouldn’t have thrived as long as we have. But still, our second instinct is to ignore the first.

Why? Are we so keen on placing ourselves in unsafe situations? Are we so ready to put our lives on the line?

Some people make a living out of doing so. Others get their adrenaline rush that way. What’s the third category? The stupid one?

Of course not. As greater emphasis is placed on acting logically, thinking things through, our instincts are trivialized. We cannot quantify them. That gut instinct is dismissed as irrational. The ironic part is that in attempting to act logically, we allow human bias to enter the picture. Our subconscious tints the “facts” in favor of absconding to a remote location. Therefore we arrive at a completely logical conclusion that is based on faulty data. One could liken it to completing a proof using fallacious theorems.

So what do we do? Act on instinct alone and ignore the logical process that we’ve been trained to utilize? Of course not. There is, despite the difficulty, a middle ground. Don’t give way to the fear altogether; keep it as a sanity check. Let it guide you, but don’t let it rule you. Just don’t ignore it. I promise, you’ll have more fun when you feel secure than when you have to constantly look over your shoulder. You might miss out on the local record of the high jump. But there’s no better feeling in the world than when you’re completely at ease.

I can’t begin to describe what goes through my mind when someone uses this phrase, trying to convince me to do something. Of course, it is rhetorical. Part of me, though, longs to answer. I usually have half-formulated the reply in my mind before I check myself. Nobody really wants to know what that is, because it’s never going to be that I’ll have a raging headache the next morning. Answering this particular question most likely reveals more about myself than I really want anyone to know.

Sometimes, though, the compulsion to say aloud the answer I’ve formulated is almost too strong to resist. Perhaps we’re not meant to keep such secrets. Maybe revealing my fears would be freeing instead of fettering. Isn’t it possible that my fear of revealing so much about myself is itself, irrational?

After all, what’s the worst that could happen?

It may be cliché, but this is actually an appropriate title for the first entry. I’m still figuring out what sort of blog this should be, so please bear with me.

But for now, I just wanted to say “hi” from the blog-o-sphere!